Happy Birthday Damon!!!

So, I know this is a couple days early, but Damons' B-day is Sat. so I thought I would write.
In some ways this year his birthday is a little easier. Don't get me wrong, I still miss him like crazy, but as of right now I dont bust out in tears everytime I think about him. That could all change the closer we get to Sat. though.
I do think I am going to make a banana pudding Sat. though, in memory of Damon. He LOVED banana pudding, but only if it was homemade with the runny filling....
Austin is doing good, he is looking and acting so much like his daddy that it is scary. He recently went to 2 different camps and loved it. I can't believe he is growing up so big, I have to make him give me a hug now. He thinks he is too old to hug his Aunt Brandy....I can still remember when he was my little tag-a-long. Now Savannah is his little tag-a-long. LOL Funny how life goes, isn't it?
I remember Damons' last birthday like it was yesterday. I wasn't able to go out with him that night, but I went by his house and left him a birthday card there and put some money in it. I usually never go for the mushy cards, I usually always get the funny ones that have no sentiment to them, that is just always how me and Damon were, but this time for some reason I went all out and got the mushy card. Along with a very long and sentimental message on the card, I wrote him a personal message telling him how much he meant to me and how very glad I was to have him as a big brother who was always there for me when I really needed him. I will never forget the phone call I received that night...Damon called me crying over what I had wrote and told me he loved me too, and we had a really long heartfelt talk. For those of you who know Damon, you know that was not normal, but I am so much more thankful for it now. I will cherish that phone call for the rest of my life.
So, happy birthday Damon, I hope you continue to watch over me in Heaven like you always did here on Earth.....I love you and miss you very much....Later

Autism Awareness

April is Autism Awareness month. Years ago, this meant nothing to me. I did not know anyone with autism, nor did I know what autism even was. Today, I could almost write a book lol. It is amazing to know what you can learn, or how active you can be, when it affects your child.

It is astonishing to me to think that in 1983 autism affected 5-15 out of 10,000 kids. Last year, it was 1 out of 150 kids, this year...1 out of 110 kids have autism. If something is not done soon, there will be more and more kids affected. And when a child has autism, it isnt just that child whos life is changed, it is everyone who loves him.

Much research is still needed to find the causes of autism and ways to prevent and cure it. Me personally, I do not look for a "cure" anytime soon, I really dont know that there will ever be a cure....such as there is not one for cancer. But I do know there is a strong need for better treatment and therapies, for insurance companies to cover autism, and better support for parents and siblings.

I am organizing the first ever Walk for Autism in Double Springs. I am hoping it is a huge success and we can continue to make it bigger and better with each new year. But mostly, I am hoping that it will help people understand the seriousness of this issue.

Most people are like me and never gave a second thought to autism, but believe me, when it is your child, you think about it all the time.

Someone asked me recently if there was a cure, a magic pill or something that would completely cure Dalton of autism, would I let him take it? My answer is still I dont know. I know how much simpler Daltons life would be, how much easier things would be for him, so I would be very tempted. But I wouldnt want to change him. He is the most loving, adorable child anyone could ever ask for. Yes, we have times that are not so loving and that are very, very hard....but you take the good with the bad. Dalton was born with the problems he has, autism and other medical problems included. That is the way God intended him to be and I know there is a purpose. I only wish there were more therapies that people could actually afford that would help.

So, I guess this is it for now....I am sure I will think of more later. ;-)

"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

Closure

Closure: the feeling that one's prolonged state of emotional distress over some traumatic experience or situation has finally ended

Most of you know already about Damons death 5 and a half yrs ago. Some of you know the struggles and fights we have been going through since then. For those who don't, here is a shortened condensed version, because it will take way too long to type the whole story.
When Damon died he was in a relationship with the mother of his two youngest sons. And I say in a relationship very lightly. He did not live with her, she did not live with him, he did not consider her his wife, he did not even claim her as his girlfriend, she was just the mother of his youngest two with who he had relations with when he was lonely. That is the nicest way to write it. He also had relations with several other women too. That was Damon, he was a slut, and would admit it proudly.
After Damon died, this woman tried to claim herself as Damons common law wife. She got all of Damons belongings into her possesion, we recieved nothing. Damons oldest son does not own one single item of his daddys. This woman teased and taunted a child with the fact that she had his daddys things and he didn't. I am going to stop now because I will wind up saying things that will probably get me banned from this site or something.
Anyways, there are several lawsuits going on right now concerning how Damon died and the wrongdoings of people who were supposed to be in charge. IF this woman was proved to be his wife, then she would get a huge part of the boys share of the money, which will not be a lot anyways. She had already been drawing a check off of him for a while which cut into the boys share.
While she was claiming to be his wife to the court, she forgot about the fact that she was in public assistance housing for the last ten yrs and drawing food stamps and everything else and never once claimed Damon as a husband on any of those papers.
Well, today was the court over the common law wife issue. The judge sided with us and we won. She is not his wife in any shape or form, which we already knew. Any money that is received now will be divided between the three boys, which is how it should be. The $19,000 that she drew off of Damon she now has to pay back to the estate, which belongs to the boys.
So, today I feel like we finally have closure. We have finally been able to give our last gift to Damon, and that was to make sure his boys got what was rightfully theirs. I hope that now maybe we can truly move on and look more on the positive things about Damon, instead of constantly having this looming over us.
So, with all of that said....... Damon, may you truly Rest in Peace now. I love you .....Later.

How quick they grow.......

I know I should be in bed, but as usual for most nights when my husband is gone, I can't sleep. For some reason when my head hits the pillow, my mind starts traveling. So, instead I will update the blog. :-)
Both of my babies are in school now, I have to pinch myself daily to remember this is a fact. It doesn't seem like they should be old enough. Granted, it is only Headstart for them both, but it is still school. Savannah starts Kindergarden next year...WOW!
It is amazing how fast time flies, and how quickly your life can change.......wether it is for good or bad, it can change in a second.
I am in a reflective mood here lately, I am almost the age my brother was when he died, and I just can't imagine leaving my kids. I can't begin to think of them having to grow up without me or their daddy. It makes me a little more cautious about how I do daily things, although I know accidents can happen at any time, it can't hurt to be extra careful can it? I am also trying to eat a little better, that one is not working out so well, lol.
The kids are doing really good. Dalton has improved so much since he has started school. He still isn't talking yet, but he is making more imitations of peoples faces and gestures, he also has a lot more attitude, lol. He can give some more looks. He is becoming more boy too, he is so mean, lol. He likes to fight and wrestle, especially with his daddy.
Savannah has taken to school also, just like I knew she would. She has been begging to go for months now. She has become friends with many kids, and even has her first boyfriend, although she tells us that we are not allowed to talk about that, lol.
Me and James went to Pigeon Forge Tn. over the New Years weekend to celebrate our one year wedding anniversary. It was so much fun. I really enjoyed it. It snowed while we were there and we got to experience Cades Cove with snow on the ground. Absolutely beautiful!
I have been busy while the kids are in school. I am organising an Autism Walk for our area, it will be the first of hopefully many more to come.
And of course I am trying to recuperate still from football season, lol. As you all know we are huge Alabama fans, so it has been a pretty exciting football season for us and the rest of the Bama fans out there. We have went to two games this year and tailgated one, then we also went to the National Championship celebration, and I even got Terrance "Mount" Cody's autograph. Now we are just waiting for A-Day on Apr. 17th!!
Well, that is all I can think about right now, so until I have more to write about...LATER

I am blessed

I have just been thinking today and just wanted to say that I am so truly blessed. I have a wonderful loving husband, two beautiful and smart kids, a roof over my head, food in the pantry and a car in the driveway. I am sure there is more that I could want, but what more do I need?
Dalton turned 3 on Sat., and that has made me think back to the day he was born. We almost lost him after he was born. I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life as I was during those first few days. There was a baby in the NICU with Dalton that didn't make it, and I can remember that while my heart was breaking for that family, I was thanking God that it wasn't him.
It was 3 yrs ago today that we knew Dalton was gonna be okay. He came off the ventilator and was eating on his own and breathing on his own. There was never a better sound than to hear him scream at that moment. It was just a couple days later that I finally got to hold him for the first time. There are no words to describe the joy I felt at that moment. It was as if something was missing till I got to hold him in my arms.
He is truly our little miracle. And now that little miracle is 3 yrs old and I have to get him ready for school. :-)

5 years

Today is the 5 yr anniversary since Damon died. I don't know what seems so significant about this yr than any of the others, but something is. There have been a lot of things happening this pat month that automatically make me think of Damon. Some "paranormal", such as toys going off by themselves, dimes appearing out of nowhere (I have found over $3.00 in dimes this week alone) lights flickering, stuff like that. Some things have nothing to do with the paranormal. Damon is not a common name, but yet my favorite tv show has a character named Damon, or a radio station will have a caller named Damon that has the same voice. And it is the little things, like making a banana pudding and in the first bite remembering it was Damon's favorite dessert of all time.

It is getting a little easier to think back about him with a smile instead of just tears, except for milestone moments like this. And my kids help, they keep me on my toes, lol. Savannah talks to Damon. I know a lot of people don't believe in that, but we have never told her anything about him, and she can tell us everything about him. She says things he would say, she tells us what he looks like, things he did.....there is no other way for her to know that.

Watching Greys Anatomy last night was probably not the best idea I have ever had. The show was good, don't get me wrong. But watching a show where the man dies due to severe burns and how the friends deal with their grief is not a good idea the day before the anniversary of damons' death due to severe burns, know what I mean?

There is a new song out that I know has nothing to do with Damon, but one part in this song haunts me......and probably always will. The song is Joey by Sugarland, I will provide a link....anyways, here is the part of the song.

"Were you sad, were you scared, did you whisper a prayer to be free

Was it quite and cold, was it too light or too dark to see

and did you reach for me

I'm so sorry

Oh, can you hear me?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBO6oN77Dts

Anyways, as usual thanks for listening to my ramblings.......I am sure I will be back on before long.

R.I.P. Damon We love you and miss you............Later

Almost a year already

In five days it will be one year since Thelmas wreck. It does not seem like she has been gone a year already, yet it also seems like it was just yesterday. I wondered how we would all get by after she was gone, she was such an inspirational person to us all. Yet, here we are, a year later, and we are all surviving fine. We still miss her terribly, and always will. I still believe that dalton looks for her sometimes still. But life still goes on.
I worried about my daddy after she died, adn I still worry about daddy, always will, but he is dating the most wonderful woman. She loves him and has been there for him since the day Thelma died. They have been friends since before I was born, and that friendship has never failed. I am so grateful for her. My kids love her and she loves them, and of course I do too. She has always been like a second mama to me.
Dalton has made some amazing strides lately. He is walking more and more with his walker that EI provided for him. He is still not talking, but he is getting very vocal and making lots of new sounds. He has also started getting more mischevious lately. He is becoming such a little boy, getting into everything! He has just learned how to climb onto the couch and is trying to expand his options, lol.
Savannah will still tell you Memaw is in Heaven with Jesus and she isnt hurting anymore. That child has a gift that amazes me more and more each day. She is getting too smart for her own good, she will be 4 in Aug., but she acts like she is going on 14 instead of 4.